So, I'm driving back from JoCy the other weekend and I'm near Corbin, driving TCB's car and not watching my speed, really. Going downhill, I'm going about 80, thinking, man, that's way too fast and TCB says, "Cop."

I look up, find the cop driving the other direction and gently apply the brakes until I'm even with him, so he doesn't see brake lights in his rearview mirror. I think nothing of it, continue to let gravity and friction slow me down to about 60.

Then I see a cop behind me. I do my usual get-out-of-his-way lane switchery, he follows me, I say "fuck" and then his lights go on. I've never gotten pulled over before, so I'm kind of Freaking Out in my own head.

Fortunately, TCB has lots of practice in this, so he gets out his registration, insurance proof, and I pull out my license. We give these to the officer who's come up on the passenger side. Mr. Police Officer informs me that I was going 78, I guess that it's a 55 mph zone. He asks if I had a reason to go that fast, I squeak out "I was going downhill," he asks if I even saw him, since I didn't slow down and I think "but I did slow down, I was going only 60 when you pulled in behind me" but I say that I didn't see him, and he leaves. One minute later he's back, but in my window, telling me that I need to slow down, that I'll go through a stoplight, down a hill, and the speed limit's 45. He gets back in his car, turns the lights off, and waits for me to leave. That's when TCB tells me that nobody ever gets off in Kentucky.

"You lucky bitch."