... for a memorable DDD Alumnae Christmas Party.
1. Arrive late, stand at the door trying to ring the doorbell for 5 minutes becasue your hands are full and the ground's wet from raining.
2. Fix your appetizer in front of everyone (slice pears, unwrap brie)
3. Do not actually wrap your gift exchange present. Just put it in a box that fits and trap as many of the fumes from the sealant on the wood as possible. (becasue you finished it just before arriving)
4. Notice that the house is on fire.
5. Let the other Alums fill your wine glass and make a fuss, because you're a good 40-50 years younger than most of them.
6. Get heavily involved in the gift exchange, playing the politics of the game to get the present you want.
7. Miss the turn on the way home and end up at the intersection of 4 corn fields. Drive through one to turn around.