Piece of ass, piece of ass
I hope you're better than a big-mouthed bass
I only see you when I'm smokin grass
ooooh my sweet piece of ass
oh piece of ass, piece of ass
I really hope I son't sound crass
I f**k you in the back of mass
oooooo my sweet piece of ass
now ass is sweet..
oooooh oooooh my sweet piece of ass
ass is fine
oh what a treat..
that it is mine!
that piece of ass is just divine
ooh, oooh
it's a winner
don't let it get thinner
'cause then there's nothing to hold
pardon me if I get bold
I don't know, but I've been told
That piece of ass just won't get cold
oooooh my sweet piece of ass
[and then there's the gratuitous moaning bridge where we jam out and moan like we have our]
Piece of Ass
like Love to Love you
ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
love to love you bab-ay
uh-huh
I'll supply your power
For many an hour
And it won’t go sour because
you’re one SWEET
piece of ass
Can you say it faster?
First round of FMR parties were last night. That was by far, the easiest set I've ever been to. All I had to do was stand out in the middle of the floor, talk to the other alumna who was out there, and that was it. I also had to tally votes, but that was super easy. We were all done within 20 minutes of the end of the party. I'm _so _ looking forward to going to bed tonight, already, since I think I might be getting the cold that's been spreading around campus. Gonna OD on the vitamin C and go to bed tonight, maybe a nap at lunch. Gotta be healthy for the soccer game, since I'm moving past the girl-squishiness into the althletic, she-must-work-out look. It especially exciting because my chest is getting all pulchritudinous with the bench-press action. I'm up to 65 lbs! I can bench press a small child!
Smile and look pretty.
The vibrator was invented in the late 1890's by a doctor to cure women of "hysteria," a sickness that's symptoms included sexual tension and stress [according to Cosmo.] It's the general assumption that every woman owns a vibrator [according to Ghani.] So, does every woman own one, and would you buy one for her if she didn't?
This weekend was Little[1]'s 21'st birthday and H&P's wedding. Also, that blind date ended up being on Sunday at the coffee shop (got set up saturday morning on the way to the wedding. Little hungover, wasn't thinking straight. The, hey-I'm-going-to-meet-you-for-coffee-and-then-he's-going-to-show-up-and-then-I'll-convienently-leave kind of date. Nice, because then there's an immediate way out if he turns up as a loser in the first 10 minutes) Dinner Friday night was Outback, and you can get veggies with your steak that's all carrots. I was so happy.
So, I went to the weekend's festivities with some goals.
#1. Keep Little[1] out of trouble.
Mildly successful, she and DM are still dating, she got lots of grading done, and was happy by the end of the weekend.
#2. Get some kind of hook up after the wedding.
Bingo. Not only did I get the hook up, he was in the wedding party. Like, the only 'available' one in the wedding party that wasn't jailbait. And since it's homecoming this weekend, and he went to Rose.... draw your own conclusions.
#3. Survive the blind date.
Nice boy, he's tall, 'not bad looking,' and owns his own business, but majored in finance and business at Purdue. We talked like CS'es, exchanged email addresses, and I went home and he went back to work on a Sunday afternoon. Thinking I'm going to have to go on a lot of dates, [not necessarily with him, but just in general.] Barf.
Got my hair cut today, it looks great. Got it colored, too, so now that's all happy. Much less traumatic than I thought it would be, watch for before and after pictures that may or may not be coming.
So, since Roomie taped the Premiers of the NBC shows last night (so I could watch Will & Grace after dance practice) so I also saw Coupling. Save yourself the trouble, it was not good, don't watch unless you're really into the 7th grade "who's making out with who" gossip. But Will & Grace was pretty good.
Also, I saw on Comedy Central this guy who was singing a song about his Rubix cube and he didn't want to try all 54 factorial combinations to get the one solution. He also said something that was mathematicall incorrect, but I don't remember what it was (I'd already had my Will & Grace martini.) I laughed so hard at that toolish song than at the rest of the show. And they say Rose geeks have a strange sense of humor.
I called the other recruitment advisor last night (she wanted to know what FMR parties she should attend) and after asking about the parties, she goes, "know anybody who needs a date?" Of course, I do! So she's setting me up with a Purdue grad that owns his own company in town. This is great, he even comes with references since his mom's a DDD, too. Better dating through the Tri Delta Dating Service.
My sister wants people to read her angry blog about being in hawaii, getting her nipple pierced, and killing sheep.
In other news, I think the downstairs neighbor is gay.
My pants don't fit very well anymore in the hip region. Why's that? because I've been running like crazy and doing 200 situps a day in preparation for the alumni soccer game. Also, the weather's changing, so I can wear darker clothing and found outfits that look stunning when paired with my dance team lipstick that I thought I'd never be able to wear out of uniform. And perhaps my greatest achievement: I taught myself how to play the mario theme song on the guitar. Homecoming parties, look out.
I had the strangest dream last night, that I was at work, but we were moving. I got to my new desk at 11 and started working like crazy, but was starving. Ghani was working in the desk across from me and I had a very pretty new, fast powerbook, the smaller one. And then I looked up, it was 12:30 and we walked down to Bev's for lunch.
Not so much strange, but very boring. It kept me nicely asleep. Until I woke up and got scared that I was dreaming about work. Hold me, Elefant, Hold Me!
In the even that SL goes under, I could always just sell my soul. My soul is worth £28999, so 29% of people have a purer soul than me.
That's $47,311.80 thanks to a handy conversion calulator.
First, a link that inspires the comment, "hehehe."
Later in the blog, my weekend: slug-fest or filled with activity?
The time for later is now!
It was a fun, activity filled weekend culminating in an all-out slug-fest. Started with initiation on Friday, then dance team stuff at the football game, over to the soccer game to cheer on the girls (we won 2-0) then home to get ready for a date. We checked out the Mi Pueblo scene and then my roommate and I headed over to the Delta Sig house for stud night, stayed afterwards and I got to boot a very drunk CD out of my apartment. Whoo!
Sunday's visit from the DDD president went well, got to talk with several ladies from Executive Office and then I went home and slugged it out all the rest of sunday. Watched trash on tv (the coverage of the Emmy's) and ate popcorn and peanut butter. Very satisfactory.
Random story: Roomie and I were walking down to DSP and this guy from Phi Tau asks us if we like kitties and shows us this cat he'd "picked up" and about all the cats he has at home. Tries to get up inside to help finish the half barrel they have left. And his friend tells me my shirt matches his curtains.
Now that school's back in session and classes have settled down and I'm still single, the Rose boys are coming out of the woodwork to ask me out or ask me if I'd date their friend and blah blah blah. Here are the answers to those questions:
Q: "Would you date my friend?"
A: No. If he doesn't have the balls to walk three feet and ask me himself, it's not gonna happen.
Q: "So, you mind if I ask you about your ex? By the way wanna go out sometime?"
A: No. Haven't you ever read anything about dealing with the opposite sex? Don't bring up the bitterness of DRC, I hate you now, too.
Q: "Would you ever date me?"
A: No. You smell bad and need to remember what a razor's for. Get your act together and graduate.
Q: "What color underwear are you wearing?"
A: Blue. It all matches.
So, it's 2:00 on a friday, and I just want to drop anchor and go home. I was loaded to the gunwales last night and me tummy's not too happy with the slop I put in it 12 hours ago. I'd really like to curl up with a jack, but I've been havin' a hard time finding one that's not a squiffy or a sprog. I did get many pieces o' eight from the IRS refund, so I'll have to go bury my booty. And don't think I'll be leavin' a map, ye scurvy dogs.
Driving back to work at lunch today, I felt like I was back in Carter County. I passed:
2 tan trucks
2 brown trucks
1 blue
1 green
1 silver
but only 2 red ones
Eerily like the time we drive back from Greeneville [the end of the earth] and passed a long string of red trucks. That entire trip, seems like we counted over 50 red trucks in 45 minutes.
News on the James Norwood murder trial. They're not seeking the death penalty, but are seeking life, and since it's a federal trial, it's not subject to parole.
El Matador owners face money laundering charges.
It happened again- the coke machine by the video store didn't give me my coke when I pressed the button. Last time, I called the number on the machine, but they didn't send me anything, like they said they would. All I want is a coke in exchange for my dollar. A coke that has a 1-in-6 chance of being a buy-one-get-one-free coke, not a 1-in-6 chance of a buy-one-get-nothing coke.
0. Plain popcorn
1. Chunky Peanut Butter and Pita bread sandwich
2. Grilled Cheese and pickle sandwich
3. Bananas with Creamy Peanut Butter and raisins on bread
3.5. Any combination of above ingredients
4. Berry Soy and Juice drink
5. John Mayer
6. Rocky Road with almonds that don't suck
7. Grits with brown sugar
8. Chicken Strips with honey mustard and mayonnaise
9. Popcorn Chicken in a tortilla with cheese, bbq sauce, ketchup, mayo, honey mustard, lettuce, and tomatoes
10. Pizza with artichokes, black olives, and tomatoes
11. Lima Beans
12. Slightly Chocolate Milk Shake
13. Coconut Chicken Masala and plain Nann
14. Baked Beans, Mashed Potatoes, Potato Chips, all mixed together
15. Fifi's Falafel Sandwich with Mahamara
16. Cheap Macaroni and Cheese with bbq sauce
17. Those suckers with caramel and Sour Apple
18. Warm Apple Pie with Sharp Cheddar Cheese
19. Fried Tofu with veggies
20. Pineapple with brown sugar and vinegar
I didn't feel like sleeping last night, so I stayed up and watched all of Adult Swim. I'd only ever seen, well, tried to watch, Cowboy Bebop a couple time and it never made sense, but I liked the opening credits and the jazz, so I'd leave it on for the noise. I didn't have the heart to tell PB that the show he says, "you have to see this" didn't make one iota of sense to me, though I tried to figure out what was so great about it. Seemed to make a lot more sense last night, though, when I was up on ice cream, nail polish, and thigh-slimming exercises. Also finished my book, "Life of Pi." It's a very good book and I highly recommend it. Also cleaned my room, so the big pile of clothes near the closet is put away, and the things in my closet straightened. The only problem being, I hadn't put that pile away because I didn't have room in my drawers and now that I have room, it's way past time to do laundry. Once that's clean (after I brave the scariness of the laundromat next to work or the potential of unknown scariness at the ones near my apartment) then I won't have room for the clothes I like to wear. Boo.
Very happy today- my Wicks Aircraft Suppy catalogue came in today at work, and I've been searching through it, looking up the parts my company wants to make with LED's, and I noticed that all the Whelen position lights come in either 14 or 28 volts and the other lights, ones only for experimental aircraft, are 12 volts.
I just finished the book "The Lobster Chronicles" by Linda Greenlaw about a season of lobster fishing in Maine and her quest to find a husband which is difficult to do on an island with only 3 unmarried men,2 gay and one her cousin. Yeasterday, I started a new book, "The Life of Pi" about an Indian boy who gets shipwrecked and ends up on the escape boat with a bunch of other animals and a man-eating tiger. yeah. Anyway, Pi's father, a zookeeper, teaches his boys about how dangerous a tiger is by having it not fed for 3 days then shows the boys what happens when the tiger and a goat share the same cage. Mom did something similar when asked about sex. Being an art major, she drew Sister and me pictures of everything. Everything. That's enough to scare any kid who was just wanting a stupid lie when asking where babies come from.
Mom: hi
Me: how's it going?
Mom: ok
Me: yeah?
Mom: full moon
Me: oooh
Me: well
Mom: Weird day - druids in the hallways
Me: when did the druids show up?
Mom: this morning
And she wonders why we think she's crazy sometimes.
I cooked last night, made curried beef pitas (very tasty) but, while cooking is fun, I can't ever get the smell of onion off my hands, no matter how many times I wash them. putting lotion on or using smelly soap results in an onion smell added. No matter how tasty it sounds, rasberry-onion is not a plesant smell.
I went to google today, and they gave me the 501 error:
Not Implemented
The server is unable to process your request.
so I reloaded, and got the same error. Opened a new window, homepage is google, and it worked just fine. If www.google.com's not implemented, I'd say they have an error all right.
After doing over 400 sit-ups yesterday, I'm slightly sore today.
I need to go get a new social seurity card for to change my residence to the governor-less state of Indiana.
I'm gonna be a Hautian!!
yeah, so my bra's been slightly uncomfortable all day and it has detachable straps. Yeah, that's right, I put them on backwards, with the adjustable plastic thingies in the front, poking me.
But, I have good lipstick.
I found my favorite lipstick this morning! It's Clinique's Bamboo Pink and was in my small black purse from when I wore it at Pansy brunch.
I feel so complete; the universe is in alignment.
Friday, BK showed up at my door with a present: a USB-powered Personal Massager. So I hooked it up to see what ti should do. First I tested the areas that have targets on them on the package. Not too bad, but it shook my entire hand and felt really creepy. Now, if I write a program that allows for variable speeds, and if I use my USB extension cord, then I could get some real research done.
I had a very busy weekend. Started off on friday, getting to drive BN's dad's Z3 before he puts the M-series engine in it. 100 in a convertable feels very fast. Then, I fell asleep at 8, watched tv from 3-5 am, and got up for DDD meetings all morning. Then I went flying with WF to a fly-in in Sullivan and met all sorts of neat people, plus got to see how they run their Young Eagles stuff. It's very similar to how we have ours in TN figured out. Then I drove out to Rosedale to the Rosedale Tavern to meet some of the Girls (I was supposed to ride with them, but JS forgot to pick me up. When I called, the response was pretty funny.)
We did Kareoke there, and I slept in sunday after staying up past 3 am to call the police on the guys next door. 3 am is when the party needs to head indoors and people go home. At least get quieter. I was very pleased with the results.
Sunday I cleaned.
Just give me the information I asked for. When I ask, "How should this sentance start" Don't tell me what goes in the section. Don't send me four other examples of the section, all paragraphs, then tellme again what's in them like I need to get Hooked on Phonics. I can read the first sentence.
If I'm in charge of "Product Idea" and I've never been included in on the dicussions of the product, don't ask me to write something about the Product without telling me what the product is. Especially don't have a hissy fit about me asking you to write down a little something about it, claiming you know nothing about the product.
You just showed the guy next to me a picture you drew of the system. Use your head.
When I tell you that I need to get a platform for my bed, and you say you can get me box springs, and I tell you I don't need box springs, I need a plywood platform on which to put my futon, pay attention. Don't keep talking about the box springs like it'll solve all my problems.
I hate working with all boys.
Time to reinstate this fun question thing. *Note* there's not always one question per week.
What do you think of screwing in an 'uncomfortable place"? and no, I don't mean the back of a Volkswagon.
This morning, at 3 am I woke up to squeaking and thought, “stupid mouse in the heater that doesn’t realize there’s no food in here.” Put my glasses on, looked around, laid back down, looked up and saw..
A Gigantic Bat.
flying around, running into things, it was hugetastic. So I then hid under my covers and called Roomie, whose phone died as I called her. Called BN 7 times and the DDD house just to find someone to talk to while I freaked out at what could have been flying around my ceiling. JS answered the phone and I wrapped my self in my blanket and sneaked out while the bat was silent and not flying. Roomie was awake, wondering what the heck I was yelling her name for.
Bats in my room at 3 am go along my my version of hell: standing in 3 feet of dark water that has fish swimming in and flipping out of it with birds and bats flying around me.
FP came over at lunch today and removed the bat for me. Actually, he removed 2 bats- BN was gonna try and use one of my softball bats to get rid of it.
We just moved, at work. 2 doors down to a new place. We also cancelled our Verizon service and got Road Runner Cable service. It was great ... while it worked. We had it up yesterday, then today, it’s down because RR is fixing some hardware in our general location, only up in the evenings. Not much of a change from our old service, but at least we know why it’s down and when it should be back up.
Met the neighbor last night, but not quite to plan, since I started the brownies and put an egg in, only to realize that the recipe only takes one egg. So nix on that plan. Made the brownies and severely under baked them. Roomie and I took some to downstairs neighbor with his staple gun (just the fully cooked ones) and then to our through-the-wall neighbor who invited us up and talked to us for 2 hours. nice boy.
I've decided it's high time for me to get a new boyfriend, or at least someone to sleep with, since I know exactly when "Will and Grace" comes on (5:30, 6, there's 2 shows on at 6:30, and the 5:30 one repeats at 7:30.)
The plan right now is to check out the neighbors. Since mom already scoped them out when she blew the fuse, I'm going for the guy with the tan truck behind me. I know either him or the downstairs guy makes bacon and eggs in the morning (I can smell it) so I'm gonna make brownies and 'accidentally' run out of eggs, and then go borrow one. Then I've gotta return some brownies as a thank you. Of course.
Ghani suggested sugar, but after polling the guys in the office, it seemed like egg's the way to go.
And, as usual, I'm accepting resumes. Please list past experience, special skills, and the current size of your bed.
The boys next door woke me up at 3 am friday night. Not, hey you wanna go do something, or hey, I think you're hot stuff, but rather with yelling obscenities at each other. Unfortunately, when I turned on my light in my room to find the number of the police, they saw it and shushed each other. It's now programmed into my phone.
Then I was talking to QK and told him that I wanted to put a light on the side of the building, a bright spotlight into their backyard that I could turn on when they got loud. He suggested making it noise-level activated and if that didn't work, he'd loan me some speakers to play some music to them. Like Indian music or some big band or he had some african music that was lions roaring. (though that'd start a noise war and would be counter productive to my goal of 3 am is time to be quiet.) I can't wait to start programming the light...
